What does it mean to be perfect? What is beauty? What is accaptable? What is beneficial to our social human existance? What is efficiency? It all depends on the task at hand. If you are modeling, your flaws; your uniqueness is what makes you beautiful. Beauty is hapiness and joy shining through pain. What do you want out of your social experience? Do you want attention? Maybe loud and obnoxious fits your concept of "perfection". If you like for people to think that you are meak,weak, poor then maybe wearing a black cloak and walking around with a grim face all the time fits your idea of perfection. Like beauty, perfection is in the eye of the beholder. If you have not noticed yet at this point in life, everyone is watching you. Onto another dimention of perfection: efficiency. People are what people are. We all have a strangths and weaknesses. You know the cliche, all brains and no beauty or vice versa. Well, for sake of example I will use that to make my point. Perfection is the peak of a person's efficiency. Let us take shapes and holes as a picture of this. Say there is a round hole and you are trying to fit a square peg in it. Now, if you were a child this square peg might seem to have a flaw, an imperfection, a misfit. Now, this is from a child's point of view. As an adult, we would automatically see the round hole, and know without a second thought that there was a round piece made just for that hole.(I know you pervs out there are reading this with a shit eating grin... but I am about to slap it off your face...) Now, take this idea and apply it to god. Yes, I am letting the cat out of the bag. Let us call this entity,some call god, the universe. Say this entity was looking down on all of us squares and thinking "Flaw.Imperfect.Not Good Enough.Bad.Wrong.Misfit"... remember what I said about the child mindset about pegs and holes? If the universe had any concept of imperfection it would be as if a child was running things. Now, a child's logic is underdeveloped and could never orgnize and coordinate the orbit of billions of stars and planets. The universal mind has a capacity farther from a child's logic than we could ever imagine. So, why is it fair to say that people are not perfect? Why do we need to strive for perfection? If our standards for perfection are based on perfection sake, it is,l quite literally, impossible. If we are to be perfect, or MOST EFFICIENT in all that we are and do, we need to strive to strengthen our strngths. We have no weaknesses. If we were to get rid of our "weaknesses" we would lose our shape; we would lose our form. We would never fulfill our true destiny. If you are a pentagon, sharpen your edges, don't try to sand them down. If you are a square, do not try and round off your corners. Sharpen your edges. There is no such thing as human weakness. To be flawed is to be beautiful. To be a misfit means that you are trying to fit into a place you were never meant to fit into. The bright side: there IS a place for you to fit, perfectly and with ease. I am not saying that our actions are always perfect. I am not saying that the not-so-benneficial choices we make are to be taken up and to be proud of; no. I am talking about the core of our souls. You know what I am talking about. That person who shines through the pain and misery that falls upon us sometimes. You know that person who you never lost touch with despite change, despite fear, despite despair. This person is your core, your inner child, your soul, you god-self, what ever you want to call it, it is perfect and has no flaw but perfect flaw fit for a specific place in this universe. You are perfect. Not despite your flaws, but because of them. In all actuality they are not "flaws" as much as they are corners on a peg, ridges on a key, different sized bars on a bar code. There. That is my rant. Stay tuned for my rave. ;-)
5.29.2007
Amy Winehouse... maybe she does need Rehab?
Ok, Charlotte's a creepy old bitch isn't she? Good god. Amy should have never had to share a stage with her. Shouldn't she bee yodling somewhere behind a stained glass window, anyway? I don't blame Ms. Winehoues for chugging down a few to make this horendous experience a bit less unbarable. I love Amy Winehouse. In all her drunken array of wonderful, she can still put on a great show with class and dignity. Amy Winehouse, bottoms up to you!!!
Nevertheless, I think it is a strange and pun intended coincidence that Amy's first hit single happened to be "Rehab" and you come across a video like that one with the locknest monster herself,Charlotte Church. I think Amy puts her real life into her songs and music. Obviously the girl likes her some booze. I commend her for being honest. I adore her for not changing for anyone. She has always been true to herself and her passion. Amy Winhouse, there are alot of people who love you and adore you. Keep it going, girl.
♥
5.28.2007
Godess of the Week...
I have yet another weekly venture to keep up with. This will be much easier to keep up on than my favorite guys/girls of the week... Anyway. I love mythology of all sorts from african myths to greek/roman myths. So... in light of the movie I saw today, Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End, I have arrived at my first choice of my new venture. The greek character by the name of Calypso.
Calypso (mythology)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"Now he's left to pine on an island, wracked with grief" (Odyssey V): Calypso and Odysseus, by Arnold Böcklin, 1883In Greek mythology Calypso (Greek: 'Καλυψώ', 'I will conceal', also transliterated as Kalypsó or Kālypsō), was a naiad, daughter of Atlas who lived on the island of Malta. She delayed Odysseus on her island (Ogygia) for seven years. While he was there, post-Homeric sources add, she bore him a child named Nausinous. Athena asked Zeus to spare Odysseus of his torment on the island, as he wanted to go to his homeland. Zeus sent Hermes, the messenger of the Gods, to tell Calypso to release Odysseus. As Zeus was the Lord of the Gods, she was unable to refuse him, although she wished to. Odysseus eventually returned to his homeland of Ithaca, to be with his beloved wife Penelope who waited for him at home, even though Calypso had promised him immortality if he stayed. Some legends say Calypso died as a result of her grief.
5.27.2007
Memories...
So, life is a bitch sometimes. She is also a sweety pie sometimes. Tonight she was both. Life was a sweet-tart. I have been away from my friends for what seems like an eternity. I have only been away from them physically for about three months, but we started drifting apart long before then. I first met my great group of gay friends in spring of 2006. I was just coming out to everyone and becoming confortable with my sexuality. These people were more like family and supported me more than my own family. We did everything together. We would always get drunk and go to the club two and a half hours of a drive away. My friend, Eric helped me revamp my wardrobe and helped me clean up for the boys. My friend, Jeremy helped me with all the technological advances that my sheltered corn field life was deprived of. My friend, Nathan helped me pick up boys and taught me so much about what to do and not to do in relationships or during sex. These people saved me. These people brought me to the place I am now. If it were not for them, I would still be working at McDonald's, probably still living in my parents' house in dot-on-the-map, USA. To my point: I miss them. Today there were things that reminded me of all my friends. I was listening to techno music, I used some cocoa body scrub in the shower that I bought with my friend, and tons of other little things that triggered immense, intense, vivid nostelgia. It all hit me at once. It was so intense of a feeling that I found myself locked into a place in time. I could remember so many things, so many little memories: going to ge chinese food on a rainy day, watching project runway, smoking cigarettes while making hemp necklaces, partying at the appartment. These might not sound like much "fun", but it was all full of love and unity. I always knew what each one of my friends was doing at any given 10 minute incriments. They always knew what was going on with me. If something was wrong, my phone would ring off the hook. I couldn't go a day without them all knowing my business. I would usually hate anyone else doing this, but since it was people I loved more than the world, I welcomed it. There is no greater feeling in the world than for people to actually KNOW you and love you despite knowing you so well, with all of your inperfections and flaws. Anyway, I am going to sleep tonight drifting on the seas of yesterday... maybe I can revisit yesterday tonight. If I don't return, I could be happy with that.
5.26.2007
Aw, How sweet..
I love it when sweet boys do sweet things... My ne buddy from myspace editted these pics for me, and I just wanted to share them with you all... it was so nice of him
[{Click on the pictures to view them full sized on my myspace page}]
Photo art by Joel CNO
The Knife Videos...
I know you all appreciate my accute and somewhat bizzarre musical tastes... This band seriously pumps out some of the craziest music and video I have ever seen/heard in my life... I hope you enjoy them... if not, only as another "what the fuck" to add to your quota for the day...MUAHZ!!!
5.23.2007
A Peak in my mind: Lyrics to a shower song..
You can take me down in a book
Take me down in a book
take me down in a book
Safely from the petals
safely from flower petals
safely from rose petals
Take me down in a book
You can take me up in a tree
Take me up in a tree
Take me high in a tree
Safely from the dogs
Safely from the dogs
Safely from the dogs
Take me up in a tree
You can take me there in a cab
In a cab, a smelly cab
Driven by an arab
driven by Ali
Safely from the crooks and thieves
Safely from the crooks and thieves
Take me over in a cab
You can take me there on a ship
Take me there on a big yellow ship
With big red sails and an angel mast
Safely from my past
Safely from my past
Safely from my past
Filled with dogs and cabs
Scattered with rose petals
5.22.2007
Imogen Heap: Hide and Seek
This song has been played on my ipod 3,986 times... I have played the video 1,098 times... and I have sang this song 45,987 times in the shower and it still gives me chills when I hear it...
r-e-s-p-e-c-t... sock it to me sock it to me...
My Grama firtst intoduced me to the queen while watching this timeless classic. She told me ,"Boy, you know what they call her? The queen of soul. She is a queen."
It upsets me when people ask me "who is Aretha?" WHAT?!?! If you don't know who Aretha Franklin is then you are not American. Just kidding, that was harsh, but really. You have no excuse after today.
How did I get here?
I have been asked so many times by so many different people how I got into my current profession. I will tell you now that it wasn't whim decision. It was something that took alot of confusion and contemplation. It all started with the internet. I was contacted on a very
popular website and at first I did not want to do porn, but then
circumstances shifted, things fell through and I needed money. I was working two jobs at the time. I had just moved out of my parents house and into the neighboring city. Both my jobs really dicked me and took away all my hours without any warning. Funny they decided to do this the week rent was due. What does one do when he or she is between a rock and a hard place? I did not feel confortable asking my parents or anyone else for money. They had helped me out so much already and asking them for more help felt like being a vaulcher. So, I took matters into my own hands. I wanted everyone to know that I was not a child anymore and that I could make it on my own like I said I could. I had all of this anxiety when I was about to go to Las Vegas and shoot. I cried every night. Finally the day came when I would get on the plane and go. I felt at peace. I felt like I was doing what was best for me at the time. I went, did my shoot and went back home. I paid my rent and other bills. I bought some food for my empty cupboards. I felt proud of myself for what I had accomplished. Not only did I face my fears and insecurity, but I was taking care of myself. That is the greatest feeling in the world. I realized at that moment when I was taking care of my bills that it did not matter what anyone else thought about me. I was my own entity. I never thought A.) that I would ever get the opportunity to star in adult films nor B.) That I would take the opportunity if or when it ever came up. I was always the good boy growing up. I tried to stay level headed, and I still am. The only exception now is that I am a porn star now. I am still level headed. I still have goals. I still care about people. I think I care for people even more now that I have become more open and vulnerable. I feel more connected. Funny, I don't think it was 'porn' per say that did it. I think sex in general makes you more aware as a person of the people around you. I know there has to be some psychology behind that.. and I might be able to find it out and post it for all you curiosos out there.
5.19.2007
The Artist
I am an artist among other things. I love making unique art that is somewhat contraversial and sometimes dark. Here is some of my art... hope you like it!! If all goes well, these will be going into an online galery where you can buy a print poster of each piece... YAY!!!
Let me know if you like this..
5.18.2007
The Hookah Lounge
Hookah lounge
[From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia]
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The hookah lounge or shisha bar (in Britain and parts of Canada) is an establishment where patrons share shisha (flavored tobacco) from a communal hookah or nargile which is placed at each table.
Characteristics
Hookah lounges are mostly found in college towns and urban areas and are regarded by some as a novel and chic way to socialize and embrace multiculturalism. Some people of Middle Eastern or Indian extraction consider them a continuation of their own cultural traditions. Orthodox Muslims and other people who do not consume alcoholic beverages may prefer hookah lounges to taverns and bars where alcohol consumption is the primary focus.
Often, hookah lounges are owned and operated by people from the Muslim world or other regions where use of the hookah is a centuries-old tradition. Some offer Middle Eastern cuisine menu items. Almost all offer what most Westerners call Turkish coffee. Many hookah lounges incorporate such elements as Islamic decor and Arabic music or Indian music.
An elderly patron of an establishent in Turkey describes the advantages of the hookah lounge as follows:
"Smoking a hooka is nothing like smoking a cigarette...cigarettes are for nervous people, competitive people, people on the run...when you smoke a hooka, you have time to think. It teaches you patience and tolerance, and gives you an appreciation of good company."
A younger customer adds:
"The important thing is not what you put in the pipe, but who is with you while you're smoking...it's a complete experience...in a cafe like this one, you find the good people, the old people, the interesting people. As long as there is a need for company and friendship, as long as people want to stop and think, there will be nargile cafes."
Typically a disposable mouthpiece is provided for each user for hygiene reasons. Hookah lounges do not typically have liquor licenses but instead derive the bulk of their revenue from sales of coffee, soft drinks and snack foods.
Some hookah lounges have well-equipped kitchens and are more akin to bistros. In the broadest sense, any restaurant or nightclub can be considered a hookah lounge if it offers patrons hookahs, shisha, and a comfortable place to smoke.
In the United States, establishments akin to hookah lounges first opened decades ago in the immigrant quarters of New York City and Los Angeles, California. Patrons were typically men of Middle Eastern descent. Now hookah lounges are widely associated with hipster culture.
They also exist in a variety of permutations including:
Chi-Cha Lounge, a trendy, Latin-themed restaurant in Washington, DC offers hookahs to its customers.
Zeeba Lounge, is a popular Persian-themed restaurant and lounge in Baltimore and provides hookah smoking to its patrons.
Mantra, an upscale French-Indian restaurant in Boston's Ladder District, also offers hookahs.
Chicago has several on Lawrence near its intersection with Milwaukee, also there is a nice lounge in Carol Stream, Illinois called Pita Paradise Hookah Lounge.
Zentra, a Chicago nightclub, offers hookahs amid techno music and belly dancers wearing body paint.
Divan, a restaurant and hookah lounge located in Atlanta, GA, offers an assortment of Mediterranean cuisine and hookahs with a variety of flavors. Divan also has great Turkish tea and Turkish coffee.
Many hookah lounges in the United States have chic or modernistic elements such as glass tables, plasma televisions and oxygen bars.
One purveyor of hookahs and shisha claims:
"It's at its largest demand ever in this country...I don't think it's going away anytime soon. There's so much more room for the product to expand. Only a small percentage of Americans know about it."
