Rocking Beethoven?

Ok.. so I am really eclectic. I have always loved all types of music, but never really pursued certain kinds because of the grand associative punch that comes with some genres. One of those in particularly happens to be classical music. I was bored the other day and this was my inner dialogue:

"Let's download some classical music! No! Prudes listen to Bach and Beethoven and Mozart. You are a non conventionalist. You cannot listen. Wait! This world is full of non conventionality. Part of that is doing what isn't expected from you. But people like you aren't allowed to listen to classical music. People like me? I am a human being..."

Now you know why people call me crazy. They call me crazy because sometimes my inner dialogue comes out in the open. Yes, perhaps I am a bit off kilter. I think listening to classical music on my own without having to do homework on it was sort of like chopping off some of the neuronets in my brain that really keep me captive and only allow me to go so far in life. I think you all know what I am saying. Have you ever wanted to paint but thought that it isn't your place to be painting; maybe to just leave that to people who do that sort of thing. Maybe I am crazy but sometimes I feel like the choir boy who is tied up in this world of sex, money, and drama. Then other times I feel the complete opposite. I sometimes feel like I am the heathen child that escaped from the world of sex, money, and immorality and into the real world of grocery stores, post offices, hourly jobs, bus stops, and living rooms where The View, CNN and Oprah fill the atmosphere religiously. Well, I think there are more non conventionalists in this generation than in any other. Maybe I am wrong but doesn't it seem as thought you see self expression ramp id in shopping malls as well as grocery stores. Does anyone else notice the ironic society that is becoming America? I don't know. There are still the stereotypes. I, on the other hand, see no need or obligation to conformitive thinking or expression. Today I had a long talk with one of my close friends. He made me think and pull back inside myself and really examine the particles of which compile my day to day motivations and urges. Th particles, I found, weren't like anything I had ever seen before. I saw them not as pre-determined or destined, but free and blank. They were just waiting for me to tell them what to do. I found out that I could change their coarse, direction, form, size, quantity and anything else. These particles were my emotions.
Something interesting about emotions is this: they are chemical. They are just as influential, if not more in most cases, as alcohol and drugs. The cells in your body have loading docks built into them so they can receive these chemicals. Just like your body soaks up drugs and alcohol into every cell, so it does your emotions as well. Just as you can get addicted to certain chemical compounds found in drugs, so you can also get addicted to emotions. I realized today as I was examining my emotions, quite harshly I might add, that I was addicted to a certain emotion or cocktail of emotions. I call this deadly concoction The Roller Coaster. I realized today that I look for any and every opportunity to drag my own face in the dirt and then find something to bring me back up into euphoria. If the roller coaster stops, I feel nervous and itching. This has been a problem and was becoming worse as days went on. I decided today that I am going to get detoxify my toxic mind and come out on the other side with a cleaner, fresher perspective. Isn't it funny how life unfolds sometimes?
Anyway... before I went on a rant I was going to show you guys and girls my new favorite song. It is classical. It is amazing.